((((((((((((((((Lbien)))))))))))))))))

I read your post a couple of times. I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time.

About the fight or flight - I think it isn't a good idea to label people as such. I agree with Chaotic.....that we all have both fight AND flight instincts. Maybe one is more dominant than the other, esp depending on the situation. I have time when I feel stronger and more ready for the fight, and then other times when I am weaker I want to give up and run away.

About the SI tool - I think it's strange he threatened to terminate because of it. Most Ts would try to work on the things that triggered you to buy the tool, and come up with alternate ways of coping and maybe a safety plan. Could you possibly talk this over with him? If he stands behind the termination threat, then maybe it would be best to find a new T who is willing to work more collaboratively with you.

Hang in there, Lbien, and stay safe.....