I'm completely shutting down. I'm scared to death. So much incredible hurt, rejection, abandonment, confusion, paranoia, isolation, I don't know what else to do. I can't talk with anyone, trust issues, withdrawing into my own little world, major anxiety, major depression, already pushed over the edge, fighting urges. I'm so scared. Even my fortress walls aren't strong enough to protect me anymore. So, so incredibly hurt once again. I don't understand why any of this is happening.