Now I know how some of you feel when you say you miss your T - Ive had some bad flashbacks the last couple of days (are there any good one's ) - they leave a stain on you - its like once the panic subsides they suck the life out of you - one was from a memory i didnt know i have - thats the hardest because I dont understand ....

- the overwhelming darkness that follows ..... I miss my T - I feel safe in her office - I have used pain as a grounding technique because it was the only one that worked - I try to imagine myself in her office - safe - but its empty - I need somthing to ground me apart from pain - I know this will pass and things will get better - its just hard to believe that at the moment.. I Have an appt on Tuesday - thats not long away - I will be fine til then - keep the walls up and the doors closed tight - just wanted to say that I understand now, more than ever. P7