Thanks for responding to my post. I think he might be trying to be a casual player. But too many times his wife, our daughter, asks him to help with something and he puts it off a little too long. He does it with all of us, gets embarrassing, like when we had someone here visiting awhile back. Didn't come to table to eat, said "in a little bit", but when he did, we were almost through.
Then a couple days ago when daughter and I had a bad day, arguing, etc., problems with hormones or something. She, also his wife, felt bad, tired, etc. and needed his help with their son, but she ended up taking care of him. Later at bedtime, she wanted him to rub her back, she was in pain, but I ended up rubbing it. She said he had asked her if she could wait until the morning. Kind of heartless, if you ask me. And tomorrow, Valentine's Day is their anniversary. They plan to do something, but so much of the time he's not into things.
We even went and visited some family last weekend, eating at a restaurant and were kind of embarrassed because he hadn't showered first. He needed a shave too, at least clean the face, you know, but his hair really needed some attention, cleaning and all.
I don't think it's as bad as it could get, but truly don't want it getting there. Not really sure how to approach it with him, don't want him to get all on the defensive or anything, and feel like taking family and leaving. I want them near us, since their son is our only grandchild. We'd need to handle it right, I do know that. Don't want him feeling like we're all pointing fingers at him. Some of the rest of us do things on computer and play games too, but not to that extent.
Anyway, thanks for your input, really appreciate it!