Earthmama, thanks for sharing those two things. I do know that T wants all the alters to be able to work together and communicate well. I don't know what she will make of the printed out conversation I gave her of the confrontation of the controller. I was nearly ready for her to try that herself - but she agreed that i needed a reprieve from all that. I'm not sure what EMDR will look like with the alters - have you done that? It amazes me how tenative things can feel with T... constantly building this ever-changing relationship. T actually reminds me of Dumbledore from Harry Potter - ageless even with her shock white hair, deep blue eyes that at times seem to x-ray me, and great energy and strength for one who is certainly older. Like I can be mad at her and it won't change the relationship - she won't react at me (not that I've tried - anger?? me???). Like Dumbledore, she's told me I could even say angry things to her (like Dobby the elf says Dumbledore told him) and it would be ok. Anyway... My time got moved this next week due to a meeting, so I will be seeing her Monday instead of Wed night. I still have been "keeping" things from her because I still feel like I am not sure what the reaction would be - and now I am not sure i want to see that deep hurt and concern in her eyes again. (How quickly I have gone back to my original interpretation of that look). These are odd, shifting currents.... glad I am not on this sea alone. =)