Earthmama,
I just wanted to say that I very much liked your email to T. I read through it several times. It is an honest brave letter. I would like to encourage you to give it to him.
I understand that causes some anxiety for you. But try to pay attention t your 'wise mind' that tells you that T will not abandon you or think any less of you, and esp that he will never make you do anything you aren't ready to do.

Remember when you sent that email to T last week and you were all freaked out because you felt like you might have violated a boundary? You described to us how big you spoke to little you, and comforted her and re-assured her about the situation. Could you possibly do that again with this situation?