Hi, I think a therapist can help you. It seems you are dealing with a lot of frustration, and it needs to be let out. I think that when this happens you have to tell it to someone else in order to release a part of it. Can you get a therapist, a concelour at school/university, or a good friend?

I know what you mean about your parents, in the sense they are making you do track, but maybe some help to deal with these feelings against them can help you a lot. Think: ok, I can't change them, but I can change my reactions to certain situations. I think this would help you a great deal, and would be a good starting point.

It must be very hurtful when somebody tells you that you can't visit your father. It kind of makes you feel worse; but take advantage of the situation to see which feelings you have do deal with; what's bothering you in your parents relationship, etc. Maybe they don't understand, or don't know how to deal with... Take care, Rap