I was VERY sexually unappealing until I was about 21 years old (I just turned 24 in Jan.), at which point my skin cleared up, my facial structure matured, and I gained a 15 or 20 lbs. of lean mass – all of which happened in the space of about a month. Due to this, no one was interested in having a sexual relationship with me until I was 21 years old, so I did not develop sexually at the same time as my peers. Since then, I have had several sexual relationships, but all have ended very quickly after we started having sex because I am rather sexually awkward, I ejaculate WELL before my partner is able to have an orgasm, and I cannot satisfy her sexually. Additionally, due to the personal nature of my problem, it is not possible to disclose anything about it until I have been dating someone for a while, and I am already somewhat attached. This is a problem because I am very intelligent, ambitious, caring, funny, generous, charismatic (characteristics I developed out of necessity when I was ugly) and good-looking – so the women I date assume that I have always been sexually desirable, and are very surprised (that’s an understatement) when they find out that I have the sexual skill of a 17 year old boy, not a 24 year old man. The general pattern that all of my sexual relationships have followed is that I meet someone I like, we date for a little while, I tell her about my issue and she is extremely surprised but she says that it’s OK, we have sex a few times (3 or 4 at most), and then my partner apologizes, says she just wasn’t expecting me to be so sexually inexperienced when we started dating, and that she wants a more experienced, skilled lover. I think that it is important to note that I am only interested in a casual relationship, as my career path is not going to be accommodating to a long-term relationship for a few years yet, and, as I am sure you are aware, women are interested in a different set of attributes in a casual relationship than they are in a long-term relationship. I recognize that I have a greater chance of success in a long-term relationship than a casual relationship, but that just isn’t an option for a few years. I have tried everything possible by myself that my therapist and I could think of (start-stop, etc.), but it only works when I’m by myself, as soon as another person is involved it doesn’t help. I have been EXTREMELY unhappy for my entire adolescent and adult life because I have always desperately wanted to be a normal, sexual being and I’ve thus far I have completely and utterly failed to achieve that goal (the only of my major life goals at which I have ever failed), which came to a head this November when I was hospitalized for being suicidal. Despite mood stabilizers, I absolutely cannot wait much longer – much less wait for another few years until I am ready for a long-term relationship – to become regularly sexually active, because I just don’t have any desire to live anymore in my current situation. So my questions (finally) are as follows: What is the best way to gain sexual experience with another person when one does not have a willing partner? Also, what is your opinion on Surrogate Partner Therapy?