Out of curiousity, what or who is a SO?
Anyways, there are different types of narcissistic people and narcissism. Some are less severe, so they can feel a bit more connected than other types. My father is diagnosed with NPD and I'm waiting for a phone call to take some tests for anti-social and narcissistic PDs. So, what I may say may be a mix of those two, probably a bit more anti-social but I'm not entirely sure. However, with a PD, it has to be like that for everyone and all situations, not just to 1 person. If it's like this only for 1 person while arguing, then I highly doubt you have NPD.
For me, it's quite basic. I do what I want to whom I want when I want. I do it because they have something or can do something for me and they're basically out in the open for the picking. I rank people on a scale or hierarchy, with myself being at the very top. People can be raised or lowered on it. If I do something it's always for 1 main purpose (although can also be for some others) but the main one is this: looking out for number one, myself. I am pretty lousy at putting myself in other people's shoes but there's a simple explanation: why should I? If I'm better than they are, have more power, they should try to put themselves in my shoes.
I guess one other reason why they say I could have NPD is I'm sarcastic to people, I look down upon them, I absolutely love power and control over something/someone, try to go with those who have more power (i.e. talk to the boss, not a janitor), etc... . I think that's a fairly short and nice summary without mentioning any damage done.
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