Thanks, Perna, and thanks for telling me about your friend as well. I think I may have met a few "Joan"s.
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You're going to be an engineer :-) look at it like you would an engineering problem and extend your timeframe too. Don't look at a single episode, but look at it over time; does Person Y ever approach you? When? What's going on? Where's Person Z at that time. . . Yes, you will be hurt if you want Person X, or Y, or Z or Group XYZ to include you and they don't but I think if you shift your focus when something happens that makes you wonder from the personal to the dynamic, it might ease a bit of the pain and you might learn something about them (and make an independent decision that they're not worth YOUR time)?
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That's a good idea! I know I'm guilty of just considering single episodes...generally goes something along the lines of
he sat beside me in the last lecture - he likes me...he didn't reply to my last text - he doesn't like me...he saved a seat for me at lunch - he likes me... etc. It's quite tiring thinking like that.
