((( earthmama ))) I'm so sorry you lost your friend.

Do you think you could share with your in-laws that you are feeling very sad after receiving news that a friend has died and not mention AA? They don't need to know any details. You deserve to feel free to feel what you feel and not feel a need to hide it or stuff it. You can still grieve in private, but it might make you feel better if you felt free to seek the privacy you wish, having already explained what is happening.