WOW, why are you assuming I"m not getting professional help? I'm not expecting anyone here to be a pdoc or therapist, I have them IRL. I thought this was a support site. I am seeking real help IRL. I have never refused help IRL, I have no idea why you're making these comments to me. I guess I was just venting like a lot of people here do. I wasn't expecting anybody here to resolve my situation or life. Your reply stuns me. I'm not making any further comments in regards to it.