well..not sure where to start..i guess stating that i have the people pleaser personality and wanting to help others and not hurt them is a big problem for me...i have been seperated from my husband for 2 yrs...never mentioned the word divorce..or even come right out and told him..this will never work...during the seperation he has attempted suicide,,thus making me afriad to be honest.....he is a good father and a kind man..but drinks heavily..and suffers from depression..i know alot of what i have been through he doesnt know about..i never told him...i know our marriage is over..he still has hopes..the letters he sends and the attempts to change wont work.....i feel controlled...i know it is time to say its over...once and for all....since our split he triggers my ptsd...i cant take the letters.....the phone calls...but yet i dont say anything in my defense....how do you tell someone you just dont love them that way and it just wont work....without hurting them....i know its something i need to do..but why wont this people pleaser attitude allow me to free myself of such despair....i just dont know how.....