muffy, I should have been more clear about my thoughts. I actually meant that I took the statement "trust in you" as meaning I should trust myself/gut instinct/etc..

nwtr, I didn't have a basis for trust growing up. I had no reference for it. Things were quite bad in that hellhole...
It must have meant that I trusted/expected help from my grandmother to stop the sexual abuse and torture...her answer was if I were not such a bad little girl than he wouldn't do it.
The beating, and being locked in the cellar, that followed my plea meant it was the first and last time of trusting anyone or expecting anyone to do anything about it.
After that I lived on the fringe of what appeared to be normalcy in the FOO.
I didn't know for years that it wasn't my "cross to bear" or "my lot in life." Years before I learned/accepted that I was indeed a worthwhile human being...

In those days, there was so little awareness of so very many things. For sure no one talked about sexual abuse!
Physical abuse was an accepted form of discipline. Reference was almost always made to the spare the rod thing...I cannot remember the rest of it.
I no longer get into any discussion about forgiveness; it is between them and their God.

Trust. A loaded and complex thing, isn't it?
I am still unable to accurately share what I mean by chronic mistrust and acute mistrust.
Obviously they are different but with the same starting point.
But I do believe there are differences.

Cap