I don't think she needs to call you on it because there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. When you change the topic like that, it shows you are not yet ready to have that discussion. T is wise not to pressure you. I remember when I first started with my T, I told him the first day why I was there--in a bad marriage, unable to move forward, stuck. Then we didn't talk about this for about 5 more sessions and I found myself talking about it a little, but then it got to be too much, and I announced point blank, "I don't want to talk about this anymore," and totally changed the subject. T didn't bat an eye. He's not going anywhere, he can wait until I'm ready. It's about me, not about him.

I also think that questions to your T like "how was your Christmas?" may serve an unconscious desire to build the relationship and build more trust. Her sharing details from her life helps build reciprocity in the relationship, makes it seem more real, and helps level the playing field (reduce power imbalance). It's all good--keep asking her questions. And talk about the tough stuff when you are ready.

The times when my T would "call me" on deflections were not really deflections but what he called minimizations. Like I would be telling him some abusive thing that happened and he would not allow me to minimize it/make light of it. He would get angry even if I tried to somehow justify other's not-OK behavior. That was actually really useful to me--I didn't realize I was minimizing or that others' actions were abusive. Took me a long time to figure all that out, but his refusal to let me minimize really helped.