I had to fill out some pre-mediation paperwork and now I'm projecting all over the place because I was triggered. Is it projecting when you're afraid the same things are going to happen because you're going into the same situation with the same person and nothing psychiatrically on their end has changed since the last time? I'm trying to change, I'm trying to get help, I'm trying to stand my ground and be strong, but I'm so afraid that this guy is going to beat me into the mud again because he despises being confronted by people in positions of authority. If he gets me to back down, a judge won't make him "look like an idiot" again. My take on this is "Then don't do idiotic things. Be a responsible parent."

After filling out those papers and answering the questions about history of abuse and am I afraid to meet with him, now I'm full of anxiety that he's going to pull the same stunts as last time and make me question my sanity.

This isn't a lawyer question, so I'm not going to waste retainer money on calling him. I just talked to human services late Friday about something similar, so it's too early to call them back. I feel like I'm all alone right now except for you guys, and you're tired of hearing me rehash the same things over and over again.