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Just thought I'd give an update for those who care.
Went back to my therapist today, which was MUCH needed after a very revealing week. I've seen her several times over a scattered period. I know now I need to stay on track and see her every week or at least every other week, insetad of monthly and cancelling and re-scheduling constantly.
Here's the lowdown/ recap: T thinks all/most of my problems are ADHD related. I don't agree. I've had ADHD so long, and feel I know it inside and out (my own ADHD, that is.) I started to feel as if there was something else accompanying it...I don't think ADHD can be related to lack of self identity, feeling empty, instability of emotions, anger at percieved slights or abandonment..things of that nature. I started to feel as if I may be Borderline, hence my post here. I brought all this up to her today. She is able to give DX, so she said "Let's go thru a few things." So we went thru some symptoms. I only met 3 or 4 of ADHD, and around 5 or 6 of BPD.
She STILL refuses to label me BPD. she says I'm ADHD with anxiety and some obsessive stuff....I am DEF. NOT OCD, but I am a big control person. I have to control my life or I go banana's...but it isnt OCD. Control is a big thing with borderlines, no?
Anyways, I feel like I am borderline. She says I'm not hostile enough. I don't feel she knows me well enough. I can be quite hostile and aggressive. Regardless, she said she sees it fit to start DBT next week...YAAAY! This is something I've wanted to do for awhile (is that weird??) and I am excited and scared about what I will find out about myself. I can't wait to see if I can once again become attached to my feelings.
Why is it so hard to get a dx???
Either way, I am not giving up.
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I wonder not where the light is, but when the tunnel ends.
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