Zh hugs are welcomed. I know that they are given with love and care and that makes them welcomed. "getting better" to me means understanding that I've done the best I could under the stress I was under. My T has told me many times that I will always need a T. I never learned any healthy coping skills growing up, so I'm just now learning how to deal with life. The hardest thing that I've had to learn is that it's OK to have emotions and it's OK to express them. I really wanted to tell my story to honor my pieces. I know that there are many times I hate them and wish they weren't there. But I think I tend to forget all that they have done for me. If they weren't there what would of happened to me? Think that's the main point that I'm wanting to get across. We hate losing time, hate the confusion they cause us. But what would we be without them? Over the last several months I've started having many flashbacks. Seeing what my pieces went through is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with so far. Having everyone here know a little bit about me and mine may make it easier for me down the line when I need a little extra support. Many of you all know that I recently started doing intense work in T. I'm very scared at this point. Think I just needed to let you all know where my fear is coming from. And I needed a place where I come say I'm scared. Thank you for giving me a place. Monty