Hi everybody,

I've been putting off posting this because I've been too embarrased / ashamed, and kept thinking I could just pull myself out of this and keep it a secret. But I've been drinking. I went off my antabuse in late Dec. and it started out with just the occassional drink, but lately it's gotten really bad again, to the point where I'm basically up to a bottle of the hard stuff pretty much daily.

I can't keep doing this. It's costing me too much financially, physically, and emotionally.

I'm actually not beating myself up too much over this, although I do feel dumb, for making the same bad choices yet again.

I've come clean with my pdoc and my addictions dr, and my addictions dr is going to try me on a new med to help with cravings.

I know I'm not going to drink today, and that's about all I can think about. I know detoxing is not going to be pleasant, but I've lived through it before and will live through it again, and at least this time I'm not as alcohol dependent.

Fortunately all my friends are being really supportinve and non judgemental.

I'm trying to put this down to a medium expensive learning experience, at least I only screwed up my finances and my own personal life - not my job. I have enough sense to see that I have to stop before it get's any worse.

I really respect all the wisdom in this forum, so thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

---splitimage