I know this happens, that this is a part of life but it didn't happen at a very good time.
My T called me today to say she had to cancel tonights session because she is getting sick, that her son was sick and she got it from him, I didn't know she had a son, she told me she had a daughter. Well, I learned something new today. She did sound congested on the phone.

Two days ago I started feeling really down, I don't know why, it came out of nowhere, which I hate. I hate not knowing why....
I did everything I could not to cry the other day but last night, I started to cry like a baby while laying in bed alone, I could barely catch my breath.
Today, I had a 5 page paper to work on. I got it just about done, then decided to give it a rest, its due Thursday.
My T called just before that to tell me the news. We originally were scheduled to see each other wed, so she sent and email asking if I could see her Tues or Thurs instead. I agreed on Tuesday. Now today she cancelled because she is sick but said I can come thursday, so I will, in my mind I am already thinking well, she'll probably still be sick then, so don't count on that either. Your left on your own like you've pretty much always been.

I don't know why its such a big deal except that the past two days I have not been doing well emotionally. Something else, I really dislike when I have to change appointments, I never tell her that, she has asked me a few times, and I just do. Then my mind goes to this place of, well does she do that to other people, or is just me because I just go with the flow, I'm not good at speaking up, so Im easy in that sense. Do T think like that? Irrational on my part maybe...I don't do well with it but I just do it because basically I probably have no choice anyways.

Sometimes I think I should share with her how I feel about changing times. But is there really an option?
I started seeing her about 2 months ago, with my last T I saw her every week for a year straight, she only changed my appt time once and never cancelled. Maybe I got to use to that.

I feel disappointed, I know I shouldn't feel that but I really do.
Do you ever feel disappointed when your T cancels. I know I am not a little child but sometimes I feel like that when this happens, a little abandoned.

Hangingon