I know what you mean about wanting a diagnosis. I feel that I meet the criteria for Borderline also, but I guess I must also not be hostile enough, because nobody wants to dx me BPD. It seems to be a borderline trait to want to be diagnosed too. A key issue in BPD is not having felt validated, and I guess the diagnosis helps to feel understood and validated, especially a dx that feels like a good fit.

BPD has probably the worst stigma of almost any dx that is used, mostly because it has been misunderstood and has been used as a dumping ground for any patient that doctors or therapists tend to get frustrated and irritated with, and for too many of them, it has been kind-of the garbage can, because they assumed that BPD wasn't treatable and not worth their time. Attitudes have improved significantly, and now we know (at least some of us do) that there are effective treatments for BPD. But, even in my master's program, many of the instructors told discouraging stories and offensive jokes about borderlines. Therapists that don't want to label us are probably trying to save us that stigma. That, and insurance won't pay if the dix is a personality disorder.

Still, the validation of a diagnosis that fits has its appeal. But I guess what really counts is that we get treatment that helps us to overcome whatever symptoms we have and be successful in life.