MissC, I think this person you are reaching out to for support sounds like a family member. Her profession happens to be therapist, but you are calling her as a family member, not a T. It's great to have family members and friends to reach out to in times of crisis. Usually, therapists like us to develop such supportive relationships. I don't think what you have described is a dual therapist situation, unless I am not understanding the nature of your interaction. If you asked this family member if she were responding to you as a family member or as a therapist, what would she say? Do you have sessions with her? Do you pay for her services? To me, it just doesn't sound like she is your T. I think discussing this more with your real T would be very helpful in understanding his objection.

Also, BTW, I don't necessarily agree that one can't have a relationship with two therapists. Different therapists can have different specialties and roles in your journey. I have a therapist I see by myself and have also seen with my H in the past. I also have a family therapist I see regularly with my daughter. My daughter also has her own therapist. We have talked about my daughter's therapist and individual therapy in session together with the family therapist. It was helpful to my daughter and myself. Sometimes it is good to have a therapist you can get a second opinion from on stuff happening in your therapy. I also have a PNP I see for meds and sometimes we have a session in which we talk a lot, that lasts longer than usual, and she bills it as therapy. This hasn't undermined my relationship with my primary therapist.

Maybe my boundaries are just hopelessly squishy....

Interesting question!