I think that maybe some counseling for him would help. If he knows that he's "not doing what I should be doing", then there has to be a reason for it. Could it be that he's a little depressed or overwhelmed about losing his job? That's natural but if it takes control of your life, that ain't natural.

Communication and firm decisions would help. You can be supportive of him without supporting him. I think the no contact thing was a good idea. Perhaps motivating him to get his life in order or you'll be gone. Not that you want to, but you also can't be in a relationship like this too long before it starts taking its toll on you.

If you can, try getting one of these books, maybe it'll help:

http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Dat...4936262&sr=1-9

http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Rel...936262&sr=1-12

http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Whe...4936262&sr=1-5