Berries,
I don't understand did you buy another SI tool? The last time you posted you said that you bought one and that your therapist told you that he would terminate with you for having it. Did you see your therapist today? Let us know what is going on and how we can support you best in not SI'ing. You can get through this w/o hurting yourself but as was written before taking a look at what is going on is important - not easy but important so you don't hurt yourself physically more than you are mentally.

Hope that you post soon...