Thanks everyone! Your replies have helped me to further sort this out. All have been valuable repsonses.

Here's what I think (so far). My family member has been a support for me for a long time. In essence I think she has sort of been like a therapist, because that's who she is. In other words, I don't think she can NOT be a therapist. I dont' think that only applies to me, but others as well in the family. She probably should have referred me a lot sooner for therapy but she has also been a source of financial support when I couldn't work during my children's illnesses and she knew I couldn't afford it. So the boundary is icky (as T would say). The dilemma for me is because I do not have a large network of support. My own sisters cannot handle (emotionally) the truth and my friendships are more surface. I can talk to H but there is a level beyond which he can't travel, because it touches his own trauma. So I naturally fell into a relationship with my family member who I have looked as an angel to me.

So, I think T noticed something that I also noticed when I wrote about confusion in my journal.

I think that I have to flap my wings. I can still have her as my support but I have to figure out how to keep her as a "sister" and not a therapist. That may be a challenge. To be continued, I'll let you know how T and I work through this.

THANKS GUYS -- LOVE YOU!!!!!