((((((Earthmama))))))

It sounds like you're doing some very good introspection. I would caution you not to ask your t if he would attend your funeral unless and until you are certain that a "No" answer would not result in hurt feelings and a spiral down. It's very possible he would say "Yes," but would a "No" cause pain and/or damage the therapeutic relationship? Important things to ask yourself.

WOW! Your t must really care about you as a person to come out and say he loves you. My t has never said that to me. In fact, once she gave me a tiny card and I noticed she signed her name, but there was no "closing" to it (such as "Love,"). It kind of hurt my feelings, although I didn't really expect her to say it (it just would have meant alot to me).

I'm sorry that I don't know who John is or what happened to him. But it sounds like he was a very special friend of yours. I'll bet you were a bright spot in his life.