I am grieving the loss of a friend, love, and hope. No she didn't pass, but only from my life. I'm AvPD and have a hard time with relationships to begin with. But last year I met a friend on another website that I really hit it off with. We became fast friends and chatted and IMed for hours at a time. She was married, (unhappily), and lived three thousand miles away and lead a different life than I, but on the inside I felt a connection to my soul I had never felt with anyone before. I couldn't help but fall in love with her. I was actually thinking that this was to work out in a way that would end my loneliness. Well, I could deal with reality, when she reminded me she was married, and committed to working it out. But then she developed feelings for someone else from the website. A pain I couldn't take. When I found out, I reacted jealously and sent her a hurtful email. Now she won't talk with me, and hasn't forgiven me. I think I've probably blown the whole thing out of proportion with the other on line guy, cause she still claims intent to stay with her husband. But I can't take back what I've already said. I miss the friend so much that she was and now that it's been over 6 weeks, and still no forgiveness from her I am trying to accept the painful truth that I will have to let go of this woman. Grieving the hope of love that never was, and the wonderful friendship I had with her that I now can't get back. It's sooo hard, cause I know I have to let go. But the closeness I felt to her, and the hope I had I have not experienced very often in my life with my problems. Everyday that goes by without hearing from her is another step lower into depression. Facing a truth that I don't want to accept.