Even though it's been four years it seems like you've been in too much contact with him to really be able to move on. I have an ex that did basically the same thing to me. And honestly, just being in another relationship is not enough to make that go away. He would call me randomly every time I started to move on, telling me how he still liked me but "loved" Kathy (the girl he left me for). And a week into my relationship with my most recent ex he called my brother asking if I still hated him and telling him he wanted to be with me again. He had been dating a girl for four months when he decided that he wanted me back. I really feel for you about this. The best advice I can give (which came to me from a very good friend of mine) is to focus on your nonromantic relationships. Let your friends support you. I'd also like to add, that getting out in the world and enjoying yourself is a good way to feel better. Fight the urge to answer his calls or emails. What's helped me the most, recently, is feeling good about myself. I've found that the better I feel about myself as a person, and myself in relationships, the less I let people take advantage of me. I've also applied this to nonromantic relationhips. The good friends are hard to find, but they are worth it all. You deserve to be picky. I hope this helped you out a little bit...