Hi.
It all sounds pretty hard.
I can relate to a lot of what you say. To me, life is/was normal. No problem here. Others within me disagree and won't let me forget either. The main abuser that I still see is very different now too. Or so I think, others say.
It's all too hard for my poor brain.

I don't have any advice, sorry. Only empathy for where you are. I think my life would tick along just fine if only others inside would let it go.

I don't know what the solution is.