No other person can relate to all I have been through either. They even tell me, when I express, gee, you seem to understand, to a listening ear, they correct me, "NO I SURE AS HECK DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR STORY!! I CAN ATTEMPT TO, BUT NO, I DO _NOT!!!"

This hurts.

I had many, many strange things happen to me, too many to count. I have many fears and different thoughts I deal with, namely a fear of boredom, I am constantly fighting boredom 99% of the day. eeekk!!

But I do pretty well with it. I am going back to school for nursing, I have put the past in the past and happen to live an abundantly joyful life at this point of it.

I get flashbacks of my former life, filled with sad, dismal, empty, lonely, strange occurrences, yet well yes I still deal with these falshbacks, It is sad.

For the most part, I, too, hated when people told me to move beyond my past..

....but I have found all I truly have is this present moment

Maybe you could write out HERE where it is SAFE more of your feelings of your childhood, how painful it was.....then VISUALIZE if you got all your dreams come true, as I feel in my heart of hearts I did, what would you feel like THEN if you saw the present moment as beautiful?

I care about you......I really relate to what you wrote...awww