Sorry if it's in the wrong place, I don't know where else it goes. It didn't seem appropriate for general. Sorry.

I could never consider myself especially sane, but lately things have been getting really out of hand. I HAVE to keep a light on at night or a burglar/monster/whatever will get me in my sleep. The only job I'm stable enough to keep is one that goes once a week for two hours at my aunt's salon, where I clean. Three months ago I could get through it and clean and be done with it, but now at any little sound someone has broken in and is going to kill me. When I'm vacuuming the rugs, I'm going to get stabbed while my back's turned. It took me over 20 minutes to vacuum four teeny little rugs cos I had to go keep looking around to make sure no one broke in. I'm not forgetting the aliens that were coming to get me when I heard someone's car. Our house is old and is making odd sounds, like always, but now it's ghosts and monsters and zombies and whatever else, and lets not forget the axe murderers either.

Yes, I'm aware I sound like a nutcase.

I know that it has to be real, cos why wouldn't it be if the fear wasn't so vivid. Like my fear of spiders, literally. I'm terrified of the creepy crawlies. Then again, it has to be me being paranoid and off cos it doesn't sound logical and many have gone through the same. But then again it must be different with me because the fear is so paralyzing, surely I'm not crazy?

I've always been paranoid of that kind of stuff, just not like this. Not in a way that's this disruptive.

I have no clue. Is there anything that doesn't involve therapy I can do to try to fix it? I'm not ready to go back to therapy after the last time, and the school group therapy groups have my friends in them so I can't talk there and feel safe. If in three months I can go this far off, I'm worried. Nothing like being overly stressed has triggered it.

If any of that makes any sense, which it probably doesn't.

If you're crazy and you know it clap your hands...