I am in so, so much pain today! It's incredible.. I've been with a friend all day and forced myself to hide the pain.. I felt really low just now and I started whacking my head against the wall again.. I did it so hard that it gave me a migraine I don't know what caused it, I guess it's because it's the evening and I always start to feel low in the evenings..

My friend looked at me and said; "Kirst, are you ok?" I said yeah and sighed because I knew I had a panic attack coming on otherwise. It was believed. I was ok, but I just knew that something was brewing and that I just wouldn't feel ok when they'd gone. It's true. I'm alone now and I said "this is why I don't spend an awful lot of time with people around this sort of time, because I get like this.." Got a hug out of that, which helped a little, but I just don't understand why my mood just suddenly drops like it did

It's really getting to me and I just kept dissociating when my friend was there. It wasn't until she said something, or hugged me that I came back again and just pretended to have been thinking. It's horrible. I'm fed up of it.