Reading this just as my son sits down to play his XBox360... (he's 13).

The boys need to know that relationships with real people realy are more important than online anything. Including work (when they eventually get a job) - if work calls, they will sometimes have to say "no, I can't - I'm with my family."

I have to ask my son numerous times to stop playing to come to dinner. Sometimes it comes to setting up consequences "if you do that again, you will lose it for a week." You almost have to mother/father your mate in situations like you're describing and actually lay down consequences.

Online friends (they truly aren't friends, but that's not the point) - online friends don't have consequences. You can "walk in and out of their lives" at any time - the addiction is that "what if I'm missing something in the community? I better get online." I wish people would be with real people with that much vigor. The only thing I know similar is going to concerts - where people are together in a group for the reason of hearing a favorite band.

I'm a guy (well, older than your bf's) and I do/did react to consequences over my life. Lay down some consequences and see if the boys will react. If they don't you have to see how much the situation is worth it for youself to continue with. There really are guys who are into things like sports and hanging-out without online access. One example was back in the 80s - my college room mate was raised in a house which didn't allow TV viewing. Turned out he was extremely smart, good social skills, good life skills and the ability to stay focused on work. I introduced him to a girl who he later married. Had a good family life too.