welcome to pc, steve!! i believe you will find a lot of support here.
i've been sober "for a few 24 hours" as we say. what do you think was the cause of the relapse? i know for me when i was initially struggling with the disease of addiction i would go back and drink again expecting different results and the results were always the same..i didn't dictate what alcohol was going to do for me, alcohol dictated what my life was going to be or for the most part not what my life would be. for me it was loneliness beyond description, a loss of hope, doom and gloom, depression, ad nauseum. "jails, institutions and death." no wonder i saw it as a bleak prediction.
now this is just my experience, not yours, but i'm glad you found us. you do have choices and if you decide you want sobriety you can find it. recovery is at your fingertips. but only you can decide if that's what you want. i believe you do or u wouldn't have posted, imho. we can support you and help you find the light of hope. it's a "we" program. it's all just "one day at a time" for us. keep us posted on how u are doing?