Hi, I'm new as of this week-
Just need a place to get this heavy burden off my chest-I'm working to leave my emotionally abusive "boyfriend" he's negative everytime I talk to him, nothing is ever good enough or right- he doesn't appreciate anything anyone does for him, people start out liking him, but they drift away when they realize this...he's in my band, i live on his property so while I'm looking for another musician for that spot and a job for a new apartment- I have to interact with him-This 43 year old man has the maturity of a 13 year old, he's been laid off, finally had the first interview and wore shorts and sandals when they asked him to the 2nd one -"they'd have to see the real him", has an MBA, BSEE smoked pot all summer and expected me to support him with my disablity income...no I'm not perfect,I've been to a therapist about an emotionally abusive mother and I realize I've been feeling obligated to rewrite the past by pleasing an unpleasable person but I'm done, and moving on.
Here's the problem, I've been dealing with him in passing, by being involved in positive activites ( tap dance classes, community college,)but then he insists that we need to be "close" and "have conversations", which he uses as opportunities to talk about himself.
Every time I talk to him, try to give him the benefit of the doubt, it's almost always a waste of time-I try to be patient and bide my time until he finishes talking, but lately anytime I give him benefit of the doubt it's too draining, this last time it just felt like a big weight on my chest literally, like I could not breathe.