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The Mysteries of Love

Ten reasons why we fall so hard, commit reluctantly, cheat (or are cheated on), but are inclined to stay bonded forever What rules attraction?

In general, you gravitate toward people like you. Good-looking people tend to go for similarly good-looking types, and those from a particular socio-economic background favor their own. Experts believe this happens because perceived equality contributes to a stable union. Well-known actresses pair up with rock stars, for example, because such men tend to be as rich and famous as they are. But once you get past the bone structure and bank account and into personality attributes, opposites often attract. "We're apt to fall in love with those who are mysterious and challenging to us," says Helen Fisher, a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University, in New Brunswick, New Jersey, and the author of Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love (Owl, www.amazon.com). "This pull to another biological type could also be adaptive," says Fisher. "If two very different people pool their DNA, they'll create more genetic variety, and their young will come to the job of parenting with a wider array of skills."

How much do looks count?

Physical features are important to both sexes, but a bit more so to men. "During attraction, the parts of a man's brain associated with processing visual information are more active," says Louann Brizendine, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, and the author of The Female Brain (Morgan Road, www.amazon.com). "That's true for women too, but they also show activity in the brain regions that integrate decision making, which suggests they're thinking about a little bit more than just how he looks."

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