Everybody, thanks!
I've already deleted things (email addresses, phone numbers, contacts of all kinds) from my computer.
When I had changed jobs and moved locations for the first 2 years I had completely cut all communication with him. By the second year I was doing great. I got involved with exercising regularly and watched my diet. I managed to shed off about 40 pounds and this had given me confidence. I had started to feel strong enough to date again (not that things ever worked out) but at least I put myself out there.
At a conference (during that second year) we ran into each other. He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw me. He actually mentioned to me that I had looked younger than from when he knew me. He handed out other compliments as well....which he had never said before during the 4 YEARS we were "together". He even proposed to take me out to dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you imagine this my friends? I had spent 4 years with him and he finally asked me out to a dinner 2 years after we were over!!!!!!! This where I screwed up though: I accepted the invitation. I was curious to hear what he had to say.
During the dinner he apologized for what he had done to me. That's when I couldn't hold it and I started crying. He seemed upset and said that he hadn't realized how much he had hurt me. He acknowledged how he had damaged my life. Slowly he shifted the conversation to hypothetical questions related to the topic "what if we hooked up again?". He asked me this while being in a relationship! This doesn't fit my brain! He even mentioned about leaving the other girl with which he had been together already for 2 years!!!! This was so cold of him. That's when I told him that the 2 years without him had been more fun than the time I was with him. I also told him that my family and friends went through some trouble to get me back into shape and for their sake I was not going to go back to "that". He got angry and said "well, I guess that's all I needed to hear. Fine then! Fair enough! Since you feel that your friends are more important!".

Still though, after that meeting, for some while (3-6 months) he kept sending me emails that he keeps thinking about me, that his world is upside down, that he sees me in his dreams and that.....he will seek counseling! He was telling me that he was visiting a therapist to understand why he feels so "drawn" to me. I was thinking to myself that all this is weird. I mean, what does all this mean? He loves me so he's curing it by going to a therapist? Is he lying to me and tells me all this because he knows I'll stick around to support him and thus, keep talking to him?

Here's the thing though....this communication did the trick. I got reeled back in the hole I was once in. I felt that he really wanted to be with me. The fact that I was horribly alone didn't help either. As soon as he sensed that I got hooked again that's when he "decided otherwise" and repeated what I had once told him "it is too late". Several months later and on my birthday he announced that he's engaged. Wow.

Yea, here I am again typing the story of my life. Sorry to be bugging you with all this nonsense. I guess I'm simply afraid. Another conference is coming, this June. He'll be there again and this time he's bringing her as well. The happy couple. I'm going to be single and alone, again. He always sees me this way. Once he even made a comment about it too "I'm happy to see you so happy even though you are alone!". I have never been able to rub a new boyfriend in his face. I still wish I could hurt him back. Patty, when will I be able to feel nothing again?!

So sorry to be babbling about this. I promise I'll do better. I'll really try again. Thank you to everybody.