Good for you! My T once told me I needed to be around positive people to help my inner life. All these years later and all my life has been and will be that is still so very true. Sometimes you have no choice about that, I tend to isolate when I'm down but as soon as I make a phone call to my one true friend, I feel upbeat. It's funny how the connection with a nonjudgmental person makes you feel. She see's positives in me that I don't, and sometimes I feel like I'm more bagage than I am 'the giving" friend or the needy half of our friendship. But we are so equal on the friendship thing that it's ok to be down sometimes.

She has a way of making me see situations or people differently, and makes me a better person for it.

Do you see a T? A Therapist was the one positive thing I had in my life when I really needed it. Someone to trust your every secret with and not be judged by it. Someone to help you see what reality is...I was never sure if I was thinking "correctly". He would encourgage me to "check it out". After I grew emotionally, I also grew spiritually and opened up to the idea I wasn't such a horrible person afterall!

Self help books were a start for me. I used to notice certain books left open in his office when I'd be there. Now, looking back, I don't think it was an accident, I think he planted them to leave me little hints without telling me what he thould I would be helped from.

Good luck, and try to be less harsh on yourself. At bedtime tell yourself you are loved by all of us here at PC and set yourself up for happy dreams by thinking of one thing, place, person who you truely trusted and made you feel safe.