@turquoise, thank you for the welcome back. I feel like the whiniest of whiners this year....and i have too much to be grateful for. Just cant break this rut i feel like i am in......THANK YOU!!!!

@ sannah. thanks for the kudos. dont feel like i deserve them. just feel like a whiner ;-)

@jacq.....my friend - I really dont know whats wrong with me, just this odd feeling of i need to hide. ocd? bipolar? just wierd ole me? dunno. Just feel this odd need to stay in hiding. havent talked to friends in a bit. (does not seem to bother me oddly enough) So i dont know.

@NWTR....darrell. everytime I complain, you come runnin! I know others have it harder. Just in some wierd funk since I moved mom. Missing her is part of it im guessing. But i cant shake this feeling of I dont want to be around people?>?? esp since this is the safest place i know. I have a hard time making myself connect here.

@ all of you......thank you - seriously.....i just dont understand why i am reverting to old ways. wont si. i promise you that. but this hiding thing. I just dont want to be "seen".....its almost disturbing to me.

thx

Colleen