Could I add my 2 cents too ? The same as you Mary Alice, I hope I don't offend anyone.

Besides what you've said above, that we should be here to support, nurture, comfort all, we should be able to freely be ourselves. If someone crosses a line, makes a habit of abuse, then there are ways to deal with that individual so it won't continue.

Not being the devils advocate nor encouraging arguments. Conflict is a part of life. We've probably all had our share of it. Understandably, many of us have learned to avoid it. But at what expense? As badly as we can imagine conflict to be, it's shining opposite is not avoidance, but conflict resolution.

I've been learning more about managing conflict (that is allowing it to exist, and controlling it's effects) thanks to my schools insistence on group projects in every course. It's interesting that conflict is not only expected, it's even encouraged. Unless we assert ourselves, we're not contributing. No one needs a silent member to a group project. Peoples opinions are not always alike. Some of you may think I'm full of it, but some won't. Is anybody wrong? It's easy to agree to disagree, to allow freedom of opinion, to respect differences, and reach compromises.

By asserting ourselves, we risk non-agreement, but non-assertion we risk self-denial. Avoiding conflict, self denial, self imposed silence contributes to depression. In my group meetings I've learned I have a power by simple virtue of being present. My opinions, whether agreed to or not carry equal weight as every person present. I've learned that others are equally willing to assert themselves and equally interested in resolving conflict. A succesful team is one that can rise above it's differences and complete the task. Differences are expected and managed. Productive team members do not allow the differences to cripple them, whether thier ideas are accepted or rejected by the group as a whole. Putting the difference behind, they continue on towards solving the task. Succesful groups do not allow differences of opinion to handicap the group. They encourage ideas from each other, and naturally not all ideas can be used, but if they allowed the differences to overwhelm, there would be no ideas to choose from. Diversity is as much a part of creation as cohesion. Can we agree to disagree and still be kind?

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius