youOme, i know you will be ok, youve been through a lot and now you are coming here, expressing yourself, getting it out (how you feel) so that others can hear and understand, see inside you and see that you are not an evil 'bad' person for any reason that can be shown, at any time of your life, from then til now... you are a woman who is emerging into her true self and making decisions that the woman who stands in the mirror is not the faded, wrinkly, guarded self that you previously imagined.. there has been a princess inside all along