Note: If you have a eating disorder this could be influencial or triggery, just avoid if you want.

My legal drug of choice is over the counter diet pills. I have been taking diet pills since I was 14 years old and I know my health is being affected. Today I have four bottles of diet pills in my medicine cabinet and two empty bottles in the console of my car. I also abuse diuretics. I've always felt this immense pressure to be thin, but the funny thing is I have never truly been thin. I have always been a shapely girl, accept when I was abusing illegal substances years ago. I feel completely drained of energy and massively filled over if I do not take my pills. The diet pills keep me energized and the diuretics drain me so I do not feel so full all the time. They used to supress my hunger, but I have built a tolerance to all diet pills, they no longer suppress my hunger, but they do make smaller meals more filling.

My largest fear is if I do get myself off the diet pills, I will balloon up and never beable to shed it the healthier route. I've probably tore up my thyroid. I imagine I have a future of corrupted health issues and plus size pants. My outlook is scary here.....what could I do?

Posting Confusion, btw....could have been considered "eating disorder."

Addiction seemed more apropriate since it's habit I can't break and it's negatively affecting my life.