I have been seeing this T for about 2 1/2 months now. So in a sense, it is a new relationship and I have always been hesitant about trusting people.

I ended up sending her an email stating that sometimes I wondered if she believed me. In it I mentioned the statements that were made as to why I feel that way at times.
She wrote me back saying that she believed everything I was telling her and clarified the statements that I had taken to mean something else. It was good to get that from her.

Of course I emailed back about wanting to believe her but that it's hard for me to do right now having not been believed in the past. This is the way I feel right now, I didn't want to lie to her about those feelings. Yet, I feel bad for sending it to, for not giving her the same respect in believing what she is telling me.

I know it has to do with my lack of trust, I could have said thanks and left it at that but that wouldn't get me far. I am trying to be as honest with her as possible. I have kept this stuff a secret for way too long because the first time I ever told, I was scolded and told "how could you ever say something like that about a man who takes care of the family". From that point on I never told a soul, until now. Now, as an adult, I know that it was too much for my mom to hear that my step-dad had done things to me. I tried to pretend it never happened but it wouldn't go away.

She is very supportive, and I really want to believe that she believes me but sometimes I would still rather deny that it never happened.