mel, only you can make the decision to put down the weed. there are self help programs out there free for the taking. at least for this recovering addict/alcoholic it helped me cause i got such unconditional support there. i don't think i could have been successful had i not gone there, jme. food for thought...i wish you well on your move and hope it is a new "beginning" for you.  i had a new "beginning" and i've never regreted it for one minute. you can make it happen if you want it. your posting here is a start. thank you for sharing what's been going on with you.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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