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Feb 21, 2009, 08:37 AM
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
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((jbug))
The news has been terrifying me since I was a little girl during the 60s in Chicago. I couldn't run away from it then, and I can't run away from it now because I'm homebound and disabled in the home where I grew up. 
I've known these people (my neighbors) my whole life, and I'm aware tensions are extremely high. In the past people have threatened my life, and continue to do so because I married a black man, have a biracial child, and am currently married to a Mexican man. If/when my neighbors can't take it anymore (the racial tension on the news), they will take it out on me and my family. It's also possible the religious people in my neighborhood might become overly zealous and want to "teach me one final lesson." The local church constantly plays "Onward Christian Soldiers," and I know how much some of the people there hate me for "betraying the white race." 
Sometimes when I'm lying in bed I get to hear the birds and children playing. Most times, it's the continual sound of sirens - police sirens, fire trucks, ambulances. Yesterday I heard gunfire. It could have been fireworks, but I doubt it.
I'm completely defenseless. I could choose to be frightened, but that would only make my life even more miserable. If some idiot decides to step into my home and take my life, it won't be my problem - it will be THEIRS. The same goes for if they lay a finger on my family. 
Hope this wasn't too strong. I received a death threat yesterday, and I don't trust our police force. 
I would suggest you stay aware of your surroundings, but try not to be too paranoid about what might happen. Some things are out of our control. Worry and panic doesn't always prevent harm.
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