mazer, I wonder if it is a conflict of interest situation and she is not allowed to offer her private services to you? She might be seen as using her charity work to try to generate new business for herself. I know with my divorce professionals, including the child specialist, who is a therapist, I am not allowed to see her as a private T after the divorce is over. She had so much useful advice with my kids that I asked her could I see her after we were done with the divorce for help with parenting issues. And she said no, it was conflict of interest.

So it might be something similar with your T. Also, if you look her up independently of the agency you received her gratis services from, it might be that you could. You might need to go outside of the charity channels in order for it to be considered "ethical." For example, I have seen doctors before who left the clinic they worked at and they were not allowed to tell patients where they would be working in the future because they would be seen to be "stealing" patients from the clinic they were leaving. However, if the patient looked them up independently, once they had left the clinic's employment, then they were happy to see you in their new position. I did that with my dermatologist. I wanted to stick with him, not his former clinic.

Anyway, I suggest you contact your old T and tell her that your therapy with her was so helpful that you would like to continue to see her privately, and pay her fee, and ask if that is possible. She might say "yes"! She might also say no, and explain why (if she feels there is conflict of interest, etc.). If that was the case, at least you would know you can't see her privately because of a rule rather than because she doesn't like you or want to help you.

If she is unable to see you, you could at least ask her for some referrals. Since she knows you so well, she might be able to make a good guess at a T that would be a good fit.

This is hard, I know. It is bereavement. You are griving her loss. I hope you will make the call and ask her.