Is there a domestic violence center near you? Most areas have a hotline listed in telephone books. Calls to the hotline can be anonymous and they are free for callers. Typically, hotlines operate 24 hours a day and are "manned" by females trained in the situation you described. (You could try looking in the Blue Pages of your phone book. They might offer free counseling.)

Most women who have died would have never thought that people who said they loved them would have killed them. THOUSANDS of women die each year due to domestic violence and abusive relationships. Thirty per cent of female homicide victims are killed by their husbands or boyfriends, according to FBI.

How do I know if someone could hurt me - questions:
Does this person ignore my feelings and wishes?
Tease and ridicule me about things important to me?
Often shows anger or uses threats or violence in the relationship to get his own way?
Encourages or pressures me to do things that make me feel uncomfortable?

Am I in an abusive relationship:
Do the things he says make me feel unworthy, stupid or less than?
Do I feel violated in any way by him?
Do I feel he is doing me a favor by dating me?
Does he hit, slap, push or kick me?
Do I feel intimidated or controlled by him?
Do I feel pressured sexually?
Do I feel I must give up friends for him?
Do I walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting him?
Does he make or carry out threats to hurt you?
Does he threaten to commit suicide?
Does he make his partner feel crazy and play "mind games?"
Does he name-call, criticize, publically humiliate or embarass?
Does he destroy personal effects (pictures, clothes, gifts)?
Does he use looks or gestures to intimidate; smash or throw?
Does he abandon or threaten to abandon partner in a dangerous place?
Is he using jealousy as a sign of love instead of insecurity?
Is he controlling what his partner does, who she talks to or her work activities?

If there is not a domestic violence center near you, you probably could call them collect. You might be able to obtain a protective order (if you obtain an order, you should carry the document with you at all times and keep a copy at home or work). SOme DV centers offer free cell phone use to keep you safe (phone may be only used to call law enforcement).

There are a lot of ways to keep you safe. Staying in a relationship as you described may be deadly. People who love us would not want to harm us.