Thank u so much for your answer and support.
I was followed only by my family dr so far because i was in denial and after some bad experiences with T, didnt wanna see any.
The dep episode i just had was so disastrous that a bp friend opened my eyes and i took an appointment for march.
Probably because i feel like living a new life instead of trying to push myself to destruction.
My friends death has no reason to be an excuse for not facing life.
Life that is for all of us, easy and cool..if we make some efforts.
Now i m ready, i ll tell u whats next as soon as i find out.
Its gonna take some time, probably a lifetime, hopefully a long time to live and learn to enjoy it.
Finally.
Take care, thanks again.