Well I am pregnet I managed to squeeze in at the last minute... I talked to the father and we both agree that niether of us is at a point where we can take care of a child, and my views on adoption are negative so i would never put a child up for adoption and as for abortion I dont agree with it at all but at the same time I seem to be welcoming the idea much much more... He told me that what ever I chose to do he will support me fully well he did say that... today though he called and said I shouldnt even consider abortion because it is a selfish thing to do... Im so confused and I dont know what to do anymore, if I keep it my family will cut me out of thier life becasue they dont believe in a child being born out of wedlock and plus I would ruin their reputaion. I have a job but its very hard work with long hours and Im not really qualified to do much more, the other problem is Im not in a good town to be raising a child and the father is so far away and it would be hard for him to visit. and like i said before I dont want him to give up his chance of becoming something. Hes so smart and i want him to go to college and i have seen what children can do the friendships and relationships, I love the father with all my heart but already I see our friendship slipping from my grasp. he yelled at me for the first time and i dont even know why, all i had said was that I wanted and valued his opinion and he yelled... made me cry. i know he doenst mean to do that but it hurts and im scared....
i have a friend here a very good friend and he said that he would be willing to help me out as much as he could, he actually spent $60 on cheese for me and hes been taking me out to do things for fun like dancing and walking on the beach... but i want the father to be the one that is there for everything but i know he wont. My friend hes going to be more like the father than the actual father because hes so excited and hes usually so reckless but now hes driving slow and careful... i asked him why and he said 'im driving for three now.' my boyfriend wont be here for anything at all, he doesnt have the money to come up and visit and I cant go back to him at all. i got kicked out of that place so now im am here in this small town with few friends....