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i know you feel afraid, poohbear, i did too and i felt angry and invaded when my alters began to express their needs to do things i did not want them to do. i wanted them to "get healed and hurry up and integrate". that 'charming' attitude got me all kinds of resistance, fear, anger, distress, depression and sheer cussedness from different parts. i have not had a lot of support from my spouse and so i was always worried about "them" coming out and "getting me in trouble".
when i began to understand my alters some and realize they had needs like mine and that my attitude was causing them distress and making the whole process not work well in therapy.... then i began to adjust my attitudes and expectations and i am now their advocate and voice and i care about them and their needs. as they see me care there has been less stress and more communication and cooperation.
as i understood more i feared less and resented less. it was a progressive experience and still is. i am having some long hoped for experiences like finally getting a part of my original system out front that had been hidden for over 40 years. it has been worth the work, worry and learning curve.
i know how tough it is on you but it will get better and the things written before my post are things i've found to be true also. i hope you can find some patience for your parts and yourself, it would really help you all. hang in there, pooh!
leslie and her pixies
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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